Several years ago, when it was popular, I would try to cross-stitch. I’d spend hours on complicated patterns, trying to create the same kind of masterpieces my friends were creating.
However, I don’t think I ever completed an entire pattern. Couldn’t stand to Cross-Stitch.
And then a few years ago, at the height of the “scrapbook craze”, I felt guilty that my kids would have no scrapbooks of their growing up years. So I tried scrapbooking.
Never finished one scrapbook. Found out I hate scrapbooking.
For me, scrapbooking and cross-stitch had two things in common:
- A lack of patience on my part for tedious
- The unfinished product of something that involves great creativity
Now, by nature, I am not an “unfinisher”. When I start to clean something–I clean until it is finished. When I start of load of laundry, I keep at that load until it is folded and put away. In Hawaii, I was determined to run the Great Aloha Run, and I did. And books—there is only one book on my GoodReads list that has been unfinished for a few years, and I’m determined to finish it. I am.
And there has been times in my life, that I have felt finished. Done. After years of heartache, then years of rebellion, then seeking out the truth about God and becoming a follower, and then having my life ripped out from underneath me–I was finished. Finished with life. And certain that God was finished with me.
There is a passage of scripture that I have recently been working on and researching. These scriptures came to me as I continue to explore God’s steadfast love for us. As I share these scripture with you I’d ask that you use the links to look at verse in context–doing so is always important.
But first, some backstory.
When my ex-husband was arrested, our lives literally fell apart. There was no longer anything certain. We sold or gave away nearly everything. We went into hiding for a bit. I watched as my dreams for the future–for my future, for my family’s future–shattered before my eyes. I had just recently settled in my soul that God was real and that I wanted to be His follower. And now–how could this be? All those plans and dreams for the future were gone.
And I was finished.
Oh, how finished I was.
For a year, I walked in a daze of self-worthlessness. In fact, I remember very little of that first year. Doubts of God assailed my mind and soul. And in those lucid moments when I was aware of God’s presence, I cowered in shame. And unworthiness. And I thought, “There is nothing left for me, O God.” I was afraid that I didn’t have the skills needed to parent my crew well. They needed their father–how was I going to be both father and mother, when I failed so often as mother already? How was I going to provide for them financially? And above all else, who was I in Christ? I felt like my very existence in Christ, as a believer, was demolished. What use could He have of me now?
I was finished.
And while God has provided tremendously; while my kids have grown and are amazing and well; while God has surrounded me with friends and a church and has given me a wonderful job–I still have fought hard against the idea of being finished, even as recently as a month ago. No real hope for any significant future. Certainly no hope for a new marriage or relationship. No hope that God would use me. No hope for life. Finished.
But.
This is not truth. In scripture, which is truth, we see that it is not truth that I am finished. And we see that it is not truth that you are finished, if this is something you struggle with. And scripture, at times, is all that we have to hold on to.
Take a look at this familiar verses:
Let’s tear it apart—-these were promises to the Israelites. But I do think this is one of the promises that we, too, can look to as reality for our lives–as promises for our lives.
Verse 11: Just think: God knows the plans He has for you-and for me. What’s most amazing to me, is the idea in and of itself that God has plans for me—He has Plans for me!!! In my failure, in my shatteredness, in my daily fight. He has not abandoned me–when some of my closest friends have. No, He has not abandoned me and He has plans for me, and He knows these plans. He’s no forgotten them and He’s not forgotten me. I am unfinished!!!
These plans are for welfare and not for evil. They are to give me a future and a hope. See those two words? Future? Hope?? This tells me that I am unfinished.
Verse 12: I will call upon God and I will go and pray to Him, and He will hear me–He will hear me! He’s not abandoned me. I am unfinished!
Verse 13: Even when I can’t sense God, I will seek and find Him, when I seek with all my heart. When I seek earnestly. When I seek whole-heartedly. And I seek him because I desire to be unfinished!
And last, Verse 14: I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. Do you see? Oh, my soul, from the very first moment I was told what was going on with my ex-husband, I felt God was driving me into exile. Away from Him. Away from sanity. Into a very lonely, frightening spot. And I was finished. I was so finished. And yet……
And yet all along, God has gently been showing me that He is not finished with me yet. I am unfinished. I am unfinished! He is slowly gathering me from the dark places I have been driven to. Will He restore my fortunes? Well, He already has, in the form of four children who are physically and mentally and spiritually well in the wake of having their lives turned upside down. He has restored my fortunes by continuing to give me a hunger to learn more about Him. He is graciously–GRACIOUSLY–giving me the opportunity to teach this summer, though I don’t deserve the privilege or honor to do so.
And so, I am unfinished!!
I am gloriously and thankfully unfinished!! There are things that God is calling me to do. And though the days still come when my mind and my soul tells me I am finished–they are fewer and fewer.
There is a song that Big Daddy Weave sings, that speaks exactly to this idea–of being unfinished. I’m going to put the lyrics here for you to read, and highlight the lines that mean the most to my soul. And I am going to pray that as you read this post and these lyrics, that you, too, will realize that you are wonderfully unfinished…..
“Redeemed”
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed
All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
‘Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be
Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be
Jesus, I’m not who I used to be
‘Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed
